It's Classic Joke Tuesday!!!

If you follow Ellen Degeneres, you would know exactly what I was talking about when I said it was "Classic Joke Tuesday." So now for your enjoyment, here are some of the greatest classic jokes known to man courtesy of the Iowa Source magazine.


What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

How do you organize an outer space party?
You planet!

What do you call an exploding pair of underwear?
Fruit of the BOOM!

Why did the orange go out with the prune?
He couldn't find a date!

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in?
"Odor in the court!"

Where do sheep get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop!


For more classic jokes, visit http://www.iowasource.com/wit/2012/09_corn.html 



Article arranged by Ross Haney

A Day To Remember

A Day To Remember is an American rock band. The band consists of Jeremy McKinnon (vocalist), Neil Westfall (guitarist), Josh Woodard (bassist), and Bobby Shruggs (drummer). The band came together in 2003. The band made a name for themselves when they went on their first tour and played over 200 shows. During their tour, they were signed by Indianola Records. They released their first album, And Their Name Was Treason, in 2005. The album sold close to 9,000 copies. After the band's first album, they signed with Victory Records. The band was nominated for " Best International Newcomer" at the 2008 Kerrang! Awards. Although they did not win the award, the band was very proud of their accomplishment. The band traveled all over the world in order to complete their international tours. In 2009, Homesick was named in Rolling Stones as one of the top 40 albums. A Day To Remember has toured with top bands such as: The Devil Wears Prada, Sky Eats Airplane, Suicide Silence, Confession and I See Stars.


Reviews:
The UG Team- " The 'heaviest pop punk band' returns with their third full length, featuring their pop punk sound that adds screams, growls, and breakdowns. With this notable release, ADTR is a band to watch this year."

Anonymous - "I am a huge fan of A Day To Remember"

To listen to one of A Day To Remember's songs go to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN4IIgFz93k

85th Academy Awards!

     February 24,2013 the 85^th Academy Awards aired live, hosted by Seth Macfarlane. This spectacular ceremony took place in Dolby Theatre located in Hollywood, California. These awards swept televisions all over the nation with an astonishing 42.40 million viewers.

       Jennifer Lawrence, best actress: First-time Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence tripped as she climbed the steps to accept her award, but the "Silver Linings Playbook" star quickly recovered. As she thanked her cast and family, Lawrence was sure to wish fellow best actress nominee Emmanuelle Riva a happy 86th birthday.  -CNN News           "Argo," best picture: Director and producer Ben Affleck joined producers Grant Heslov and George Clooney, as well as the "Argo" cast, to accept the award. Heslov was sure to thank Affleck for his directing, after he was not nominated in that category. -CNN News          Daniel Day-Lewis, best actor: Everyone knew Day-Lewis was going to take this prize, but that didn't stop the actor from looking utterly overcome with emotion as he claimed his honor. "I really don't know how any of this happened. I do know that I've received more than my fair share of fortune," he said. He made sure to thank three men at the "apex of that human pyramid" that created "Lincoln:" Tony Kushner, Steven Spielberg and the "mysteriously beautiful mind, body and spirit of Abraham Lincoln." -CNN News          Christoph Waltz, best supporting actor: "Django Unchained" star Christoph Waltz graciously accepted his second Oscar on Sunday night, thanking both the writer-director, Quentin Tarantino, as well as his co-stars. "We participated in a hero's journey," Waltz said, "the hero here being Quentin."  -CNN News           Anne Hathaway, best supporting actress: As Anne Hathaway accepted her first Oscar win for her work in "Les Miserables," the 30-year-old actress looked down at her statue and said, "It came true." After thanking everyone from her friends and family to the cast and crew of "Les Mis," Hathaway was also sure to thank her husband. "By far the greatest moment of my life was when you walked into it." -CNN News           Ang Lee, best director: Ang Lee accepted his second Oscar for directing as the audience stood on their feet in a standing ovation. "Thank you movie god," Lee said, adding, "I want to thank you for believing in this story." He noted that he shares the award with everyone who worked with him on "Life of Pi."  -CNN NewsWinners List  http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/24/showbiz/movies/85th-oscars-2013-winners-list/index.html  

Things That You Did Not Know About The Earth

Today is another fun facts day. Here are the top ten facts about Earth that you might not have known:

10) Asia is covers 30% of the total earth land area, but represents 60% of the world's population.

9) Only 3% of Earth's water is fresh, the rest is 97% salt. Of that 3%, over 2% is frozen in ice sheets and glaciers. This means less than 1% of fresh water is found in lakes, rivers and underground. 

8) The Persian Gulf is the warmest sea. In the summer, its temperature reaches 35.6 degrees centigrade.

7) Sunlight can penetrate clean ocean water to a depth of 240 feet.

6) On average 100 lightning strikes occur worldwide every second.
5) Each winter there are about 1 septillion (1, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000 or a trillion trillion) snow crystals that drop from the sky.

4) The Arctic stays black and fiercely cold for months on end. In the High Arctic, the sun sets in October and does not rise again until late February.

3) Only 11% of Earth's surface is used to grow food.

2) About 400 billion gallons of water is used worldwide each day.

1) The sunrays reach the earth in 8 minutes and 3 seconds.

For more Fun Facts go to http://www.wonderfulinfo.com/facts/earth.php
Pictures from google
Blog By: Hannah Boykin

Weird Sport

        When it comes to sports you never hear these two words together, cow and mud. Well, there is a sport in Indonesia that is very popular with the farmers. This sport is called Pacu Jawi or, in English, mud-cow racing.

How this race works is that farmers take their two best cows and enter them into the race. Then, the two cows and the owner start at the starting line. The cows have harnsses, which the owner hanges on to. To make the cows run or run faster during the race, they have to hit the cows tails. There are dangers One is that you become extremely dirty. Two it is very dangerous, you can be mauled by a 1000lbs cows.

Here is a video to show how the race works.

For more information go to

http://lythyum.com/pacu-jawi-mud-cow-racing-of-sumatra/ 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/racing-popular-pasttime-indonesian-farmers-grows-audience-article-1.1080341 

                                                                                                 Blog By: Hannah Boykin

Book Review: I am the Messenger by Markus Zusak

Markus Zusak narrates the story of Ed Kennedy in the thrilling and mysterious novel, I am the Messenger. 

Ed Kennedy is a loser drunk who lives in a shack with his smelly dog, The Doorman. After stopping a bank robbery, Ed receives a series of playing cards with tasks that he is expected to fulfill to help others in his community. Ed is completely devoted to his courier work, and for a short while, he is happy with his life. He becomes a messenger of kindness and help for an unknown cause. But who is sending these cards? Why have they picked Ed as their messenger?  Read to find out!

I am the Messenger

Markus Zusak

"Interesting premise, moved along at a decent pace." ~ goodreads.com

"Through this enchanting, abnormal storyline, Zusak clearly reveals a theme many of us know, but few embrace. That is, anyone (not just the richest, most beautiful or successful people) can perform simple deeds to make the world a better place." ~ Emelie Sanders, pioneerwoman.com



Write-up by Ross Haney
Photos from Google Images

Mama

             Mama tells the haunting tale of two young girls who disappear into the woods the night that their parents are murdered. Years later they are discovered and begin a new life. They find that something has followed them into their new life and won't leave them alone.

Reviews:

The A.V club- 

" Plenty of horror movies are willing to settle for making audiences jump. Mama is more ambitious by far: It makes sure viewers are emotionally committed even when they aren't clutching their armrests or covering their eyes"

New Orleans Times-

" It's a good, old-fashioned sit-around-the-campfire ghost story, one that delivers on its sole reason for existence: to raise the hairs on the back of your arms."

Jessica Cox

Kentucky Basketball

     The Kentucky Wildcats now have 17 wins and 7 losses. Kentucky's loss the to Florida was way more than a loss on their record, the Wildcat's best player tore his ACL and will miss the remainder of the season. Nerlens Noel will miss the remainder of the season. Noel was projected to be the number one pick in the draft. He is the leading shot blocker in the NCAA and was on pace to pass Anthony Davis.

      After winning the championship last year, Kentucky was struggling as a team early on, but they were starting to turn it around. They had won five games in a row and were playing really well. Kentucky will struggle the remainder of the season without Noel. He was the team leader and a great player.

Fun Facts!

 ~Each eye of the dragonfly contains 30,000 lenses.

 ~Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

 ~Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

 ~Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

 ~Butterflies taste with their feet.

 ~Elephants are the only mamals that can't jump.

 ~Polar bears are left handed.

 ~Starfish don't have brains.

 ~A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

 ~An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.

 ~Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating

 ~Porcupines float in water.

 ~Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.

 ~A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!

 ~Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

 ~No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.

 ~Scorpions can have as many as 12 eyes.






http://www.begent.org/funfact.htm
http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/ffacts.html
Article by: Haley Blankenship

Medal Of Honor

                       What kind of person do you think of when you think of the Medal of Honor? Most people think that the person is very courageous, nice and gentle. Well today at 10 p.m Staff Sgt. Clint Romesha will be receving the Medal Of Honor. If you do watch the interview that CNN will be holding then you can hear all about what happened to let him gain the Medal Of Honor.


Report By CNN's Jake Tapper

    Romesha (pronounced ROE-muh-shay) was dark and sardonic. It was clear that he respected basic military values of selflessness, courage and efficiency, and had little tolerance for those who did not. It's not surprising, because he comes from a military family. Both of his brothers joined the military after high school, following in the footsteps of their father, a Vietnam veteran, and their grandfather, who served during World War II. For the Romeshas, military service is a family tradition.

   

You'll see the way he talks about that horrible day -- October 3, 2009 -- when he and about 50 other American soldiers faced overwhelming Taliban forces numbering more than 300. Even more terrifying than their numbers was their positional superiority: a 360 degree assault from the high ground. Combat Outpost Keating had been built at the bottom of three steep mountains, providing the enemy from day one with a tactical advantage.

For all the glory bestowed on Romesha, he is still torn apart because of those he couldn't save that night, those whom no one could have saved. The humility you will see in the interview, his disappointment in not having been able to save every troop's life, is haunting.

 

Article By: Hannah Boykin

Women in Combat



Corpsman Shannon Crowley (left) and Lance Cpl. Kristi Baker (right) in Afghanistan, 2010. Photo: cnn.com



           

           A recent discussion involving lifting the ban on women in combat has struck debates all over the United States, some saying it’s a great idea, and others following the same belief that women do not belong on the frontlines of battles. CNN reported on this issue, giving both the good and the bad sides of women fighting alongside their fellow male soldiers.

            “In the coming years, lifting the ban on women in combat, announced Thursday by Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, might prove particularly challenging in the most iconic of military occupations -- the infantry, among the most physically demanding and tradition-bound branches of the Marines and the Army. Determining the best path forward to integrate women into this elite group will require hard-nosed honesty, careful management and compelling leadership. For the 65 years that women have enjoyed a permanent place in the United States military, they have been subject to restrictions. One rationale is the notion embedded in our culture that women should be shielded from great physical risks. Another is a recognition of the physical superiority of the average male over the average female. A third is the fear that unit cohesion, critical to military performance, would suffer with the introduction of women. These three concerns apply to varying degrees in the infantry. But the last 11 years of war have clearly demonstrated that warfare is no longer waged in a linear fashion, and that the concept of "front line" no longer applies,” reports CNN’s Maren Leed in an article posted to cnn.com on January 26.

            Although the United States Department of Defense has made this announcement official, many are concerned that women will be unable to perform as well as men in high-risk battle zones because of issues such as personal hygiene and physical performance. To read Maren Leed’s full article, visit http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/25/opinion/leed-women-in-infantry/index.html?hpt=op_bn6

Texas Chainsaw

Texas Chainsaw was released on the fourth of January 2013. This movie is rated R and is one of the sequels to the many versions of the movies that have previously been released. This Texas Chainsaw is a continual of the story of the homicidal Sawyer family. The local authorities in Newt, Texas suspected the Sawyer family and a mob formed and burned down the house. All of the small town's troubles were over.... or so they thought. Jedidiah Sawyer escaped and was still alive. His grandmother had been taking care of him until she grew too old and sick. She passed away and left him and her estate to the only remaining relative left, Heather. Heather and her friends decide to go look at the property. They planned a fun weekend and instead they got a nightmare of a time.



Reviews
- Texas Chainsaw 3D enjoys short-term benefits from the overarching Leatherface mystery but its attempts to humanize the serial killer only diminish the effectiveness of the scares – convoluting the onscreen narrative beats while, as previously mentioned, compromising the larger character legacy. - ScreenRant
-

“Texas Chainsaw 3D” isn’t a movie to review. It’s more a movie to endure, for the sake of the quality horror films that came before it.- Daily News

Book Review: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

     Markus Zusak narrates through the character of death the story of Liesel Meminger, a young girl in Nazi Germany during the period of the Holocaust. Because of her depressing feelings after the death of her brother and separation from her mother, she starts stealing books. Through the novel, her thieving progresses. It's a habit. She can't stop.

    All is right on Himmel Street until the Hubermans take in a very risky guest: Max Vandenburg. Hiding him is crucial. He cannot be found. They must not tell anyone of their concealing of him. Their lives rest in their secrecy. Can they do it?

Read to find out!

Markus Zusak

The Book Thief

"'The Book Thief' is perched on the cusp between grown-up and young-adult fiction, and it is loaded with librarian appeal. It deplores human misery. It celebrates the power of language. It may encourage adolescents to read. It has an element of the fanciful. And it's a book that bestows a self-congratulatory glow upon anyone willing to grapple with it." ~ Janet Maslin

"This is a beautifully balanced piece of storytelling with glimpses of what is yet to come: sometimes misleading, sometimes all too true. We meet all shades of German, from truly committed Nazis to the likes of Hans Hubermann. Zusak is no apologist, but able to give a remarkable insight into the human psyche." ~ Philip Ardagh


Photos from Google Images

International News

                  



Seoul, South Korea (CNN) --
     North Korea said Thursday that it plans to carry out a new nuclear test and more long-range rocket launches, all of which it said are a part of a new phase of confrontation with the United States.

     The North's National Defense Commission said the moves would feed into an "upcoming all-out action" that would target the United States, "the sworn enemy of the Korean people."

Read more: U.N. Security Council slams North Korea, expands sanctions

     Carried by the state media, the comments are the latest defiant flourish from the reclusive North Korean regime, whose young leader Kim Jong Un has upheld his father's policy of pursuing a military deterrent and shrugging off international pressure.

     The defense commission statement follows a United Nations Security Council resolution on Tuesday that the United States pushed for, condemning a recent recent rocket launch by North Korea and expanded existing sanctions.

President Obama's Inauguration

            On Monday, January 21^st, President Barack Obama was sworn in for his second and final term as the President of the United States. Like any other presidential inauguration, President Obama gave an inaugural speech, discussing his plans for the future of America. Several highlights of Obama’s speech includes growing issues such as gun control, climate change, and immigration.

            President Obama’s plans for these issues involve making the process of becoming a legal immigrant easier,  and creating laws to control the use of assault rifles, ensuring that these powerful weapons do not fall into the hands of a criminal. He also stated that, despite different beliefs of the environmental change, humans are the cause behind the recent increase in natural disasters. With all of these critical, sudden changes that will take place in the future, President Obama said, "We have always understood that when times change, so must we; that fidelity to our founding principles requires new responses to new challenges; that preserving our individual freedoms ultimately requires collective action.”

            Other issues touched upon Monday dealt with individual, African American, gay, and women’s’ rights. “We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths -- that all of us are created equal -- is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall.” Obama stated. The American people can expect drastic changes to citizens’ rights and climate control within the final four years of Barack Obama’s presidency.

NFL Playoffs

     The NFL playoffs are set. The Baltimore Ravens will play the San Francisco 49ers in the big game. Sunday, the 49ers beat the Atlanta Falcons. The Flacons got off to a 17- point lead. The 49ers came back and won the game, 28-24. The Baltimore Ravens beat the heavily favored Patriots. The Patriots were favored by 9 points. The Ravens trailed at the half 13-7. The Ravens took over in the second half and dominated. They won the game 28-13. The Ravens held them scoreless, with a shutdown defense, led by Ray Lewis.


     The Super Bowl will be on Sunday, Feburary 3 at 6:30. the game will be aired on CBS. The halftime show will be Beyonce.

Justin Bieber is one of the top selling pop artists in the United States and Canada. At only 18 years old, he has produced 6 top-of-the-chart albums. He mainly targets millions of young teenage girls. He is truly an adolescent heartthrob.

Despite this, not all critics are saying that Justin Bieber is the cream-of-the-crop.

“The Biebs' gentle set of gentile carols on Under the Mistletoe isn't coal-lump bad; it's more like a dorky sweater from Nana with a 20 in the pocket. Two originals, ''Mistletoe'' and ''Only Thing I Ever Get for Christmas,'' are sleigh-ride-smooth R&B ­jangles, but the classics bring no cheer — worst is the rap-wrapped ''Drummer Boy,'' on which Bieber spits some of the looniest white-boy rhymes off the shores of Lonely Island: 'I'm so tight I might go psycho/Christmas time, so here's a recital.'"

            ~Adam Markovitz from Family Entertainment, about Bieber’s Mistletoe Album

Some think very highly of Bieber, and think he has room to grow as a performer.

“Bieber is still just 18 years old and trying to find his musical lane while grappling with an unprecedented amount of attention. Because his growth in front of the camera has occurred so quickly and steadfastly, his music has been (unfairly) expected to do the same. "Believe" has multiple songs that hint at what Bieber could become someday.”

~ Jason Lipshutz, billboard.com

So, think what you may of Justin Bieber, but certainly don’t let these opinions of critics affect you before you listen to his songs! YouTube him and see what you think for yourself!

Log Throwing! It's a Sport!

barbarabutch.com

Log Throwing is a Scottish sport, also know as Caber Tossing. People pick up huge logs, the size of telephone poles! It's very difficult to throw the log, some people can only make it a few feet. You must have incredible strength to participate in this sport without harming yourself. The Scottish people gather in crowds to cheer the contestants on.  

                                                                           krui.fm

NFL Playoffs

     The NFL Playoffs are well underway with Championship weekend coming up. But to recap what happened this season during playoffs, in the wild card round, the Seahawks defeated the Redskins 24-14. Robert Griffin, RG3, the young rookie who was the 2nd pick in the draft, tore his ACL. He is expected to be back before the opening of next season. The Green Bay Packers defeated the Minnesota Vikings 24-10. In the last minutes before the game, Christian Ponder (starting QB for the Vikings) was ruled out. The Packers easily won the game.

     On the AFC side of the wild card round, the Baltimore Ravens hosted the Indianapolis Colts. This was the last home game that Ray Lewis will ever play in front of his home stadium. The Ravens won the game 24-9. The young QB, and #1 overall pick in the 2012 draft, did not have a very good game. He threw a couple of costly picks. The other game was the Houston Texans hosting the Cincinnati Bengals. The Texans defeated the Bengals 19-13. For the second straight year, Andy Dalton folded under pressure and had a terrible game.

      The divisional round of the playoffs this past weekend could be considered the best weekend of playoffs football ever. The opening game of the weekend was the Denver Broncos hosting the Baltimore Ravens. Peyton Manning was having one of the best seasons of his career. The Broncos was a big favorite in the game. The game went into 2 OT, with the Ravens kicking a 49 yard FG to win the game. The other game in the AFC was the New England Patriots hosting the Houston Texans. This was never really a game. The Patriots plled away from the very beginning, winning the game 41-28.

     On the NFC side of the divisional round, The San Francisco 49ers hosted the Green Bay Packers. The 49ers have one of the best defenses in the NFL and that showed. The great defense of the 49ers held the potent offense of the Packers to only 31 points. They won the game 45-31. The final game was the Atlanta Falcons hosting the Seattle Seahawks. The Seahawks was down 27-21 with 2:00 left in the game. They scored with :36 left in the game. The score was now 28-27. The Falcons got the ball back, had two plays, and got the ball in FG position. They kicked the 50 yard FG to go ahead 30-28. That was the final score.

     Next Sunday, the New England Patriots will host the Baltimore Ravens in the AFC Championship game at 6:30 on CBS. The Atlanta Falcons will host the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship game at 3:00 on FOX.

     The winners of those two games will play in the Super Bowl on Sunday, Feburary 3rd at 6:30 on CBS.